Consultant Decaffeinated

I woke up this morning and felt like I had been ran over by an 18 wheeler.  After I got dressed and found my keys, I headed over to Shmeckler's Bean Café.  I made sure to stay out of the sunlight and sat at a back corner table.  While flipping through the paper, I noticed a guy, very aggressively, typing on his laptop computer.  I kept watching him pound away at his keyboard, and could not help but be curious about what he was writing.  My coffee cup was empty, so I went and got a refill.  On my way to refill the coffee cup, I slowly looked at what he was typing.  By the time I got back to my table, I was even more curious about what he was typing.  So, of course, I walked over to get more sugar for my coffee.  Hoping to piece together more of what he was typing.  OK, I think it might be me getting desperate to see what he was typing so strongly about.  I walked over to get a coffee stirrer to put in my coffee cup.  All I could piece together were words not really meaning anything.  I sat in my chair and through peripheral vision saw the guy get up and refill his coffee.  That was when I made a dash to his computer and tried to visually inhale, like in the Matrix, as much as I could.  When I saw him turn around I initially dropped my paper on the ground to gain more Neo time.  After I visually inhaled all that was there I picked up my paper and left Shmeckler's Bean Café.  Do you remember the post I made to My LampoonLife on November 17, 2011?  I mentioned how the name Shmeckler's was an advertising disaster.  And through my curiosity today, I found out that I was absolutely correct.  The mad, pounding, overly strong typing technique was produced by an ad campaign consultant for Shmeckler's Bean Café.  Besides telling them to maybe change the Café’s name, it would probably be helpful for the ad campaign consultant to switch to decaffeinated coffee.